What’s Your Next Excuse?

4 min read

When Doors Close, Look at the Room You’re In

Excuses.

We use them when we fall short, when we can’t or won’t meet a demand.

They have a bad reputation, suggesting laziness or dishonesty.

But this view misses the point.

An excuse, at its heart, can be understood as a narrative that you make up and choose to believe in. A story we tell ourselves about why something happened or why we can’t do certain things.

While excuses often involve avoiding responsibility, the same narrative structure can also be used to motivate action.

Life changes once you realise everything is an excuse

I recently came across this article written by Shaan. He talked about the nature of excuses, and how they aren’t inherently bad. They can be positive.

Consider waking up feeling tired. You can interpret this fatigue as an excuse to skip your workout, thinking “I need rest”.

Conversely, you can flip it around and reframe it as an opportunity, “A quick workout might actually energise me and boost my productivity for the day”.

The difference lies in whether you use it as an excuse to do it, or an excuse not to do it.

Duality of Excuses

Shaan also referenced this insight of duality that exists in storytelling:

“Heroes and villains always have the same back story—pain. The difference is what they choose to do about it. Villain says ‘the world hurt me, I'll hurt it back’ Hero says ‘the world hurt me, I'm not gonna let it hurt anyone else. Heroes use pain. Villains are used by it.”

The things we call reasons are all just excuses.

Once you realise that, you get to decide. Are you going to find excuses to feel shitty, and be shitty? Or find excuses to feel good, and do good?

From Excuses to Perspectives

As I pondered on Shaan's insights, I realised what stood out to me most wasn’t excuses in itself, but the broader theme of duality and perspective.

How a different angle can dramatically alter our view of the same situation.

This principle of choosing our narrative becomes especially powerful when facing disappointment.

Dealing with Disappointment

Having recently grappled with rejection myself, I was reminded that the power of perspective lies in the reframe. Disappointment has a way of spiralling into demotivation and despair.

But if we view rejection not as a full stop, but as redirection, we can shift the narrative from, "I got rejected and I'm disappointed."

To, "Perhaps this isn’t right for me, maybe there's a better opportunity on the horizon."

There's always an alternative viewpoint to consider, one that empowers us to move forward.

Truth About Human Experience

Research in psychology suggests that people don’t experience life as it objectively is, but rather as the life they focus on.

Our attention shapes our reality.

Your reality isn’t just what happens to you, it is also where you choose to direct your attention. And there are 3 main areas.

1. What you have vs. What is missing

The choice between gratitude and scarcity.

If you chronically focus on what is missing, happiness becomes elusive. You’ll be constantly trapped in the state of feeling “not enough”. Regardless of what you do, your eyes only see the gaps, and never fulfilment.

2. What you can control vs. What you can’t

The choice between empowerment and anxiety.

When you fixate on things you can’t control, you are handling over your power. The result is a life of feeling overwhelmed, anxious and stressed. You become a victim of your circumstance rather than the author of your response.

3. The Past, The Present, or The Future

The choice between regret, presence and fantasy.

While the past is for learning and the future for planning, neither is a place for living.

The only place you have any real power is in the present moment, in how you respond now to what you’ve learned and what you’re building toward.

Let This Moment Be Enough

So here’s your invitation: Pause. Right now. And focus on what you have.

Feel the cold floor on the soles of your feet. Notice your breath moving through your body. Let your attention settle on what is instead of what’s missing.

Don’t get caught up in the chase for what you don’t have, or in the stories that tell you you’re not enough yet. Make full use of what’s already in your hands. The tools, the people, the opportunities, you have more than you think.